Believe in Yourself


The Best 
of Today

Joy is a pretty natural expression for me. Sickening, I know. If I’m not careful, I can bubble into la la land where everything is rainbows and sunshine.

On a good day, joy gives me the motivation to show up fully present and ready for what the day holds. On the bad days, joy helps me transform my depression, despair, anxiety, and abandonment into opportunities for grace with myself and gratitude for my present.

I find that joy helps me unlock areas where anger or fear are present. This gives me a chance to acknowledge I am feeling something big and I need to make sense of how it got big. When I’m able to identify the issue, gratitude swoops in and offers the chance for mediation; seeing the best in me and the best in the situation.

I don’t always get it right, but it gives me the chance to believe I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got. Beyond ourselves, gratitude and joy can also give us keys to seeing the best in others and give us the opportunity to see the best in who we are as people.

I will fully signal here: this shit is hard. Believing in anything is hard these days. Believing in others may be a piece of cake. But believing in yourself? It can be long and difficult. There might be history and time and who-knows-what-else to confront. If I know one thing for sure, believing in yourself is worth it.

At the start of this series, I shared how my parents had a difficult time reconciling my coming out. I felt completely abandoned by them after their reaction. I felt like I had to get as far away from them to give myself the chance to make it. At the time, I had no choice but to believe I had everything I needed with or without a family.

It took us six years to come back together. 

We reflect on this period in our lives often, trying to make sense of what happened. My parents recognize I was making sense of a reality they believed to have no benefit for me. I believed I was doing quite the opposite. It wasn’t until they began to see who I was becoming and the ways I believed in myself and others, that they began to transform their understanding of my fullness.

Here’s what I’m getting at: we must believe in ourselves–not for others, but for ourselves. We must believe that the fullness we so greatly desire starts with us first. Plenty of people will not understand and may leave along the way. Their faith or flight is not a part of your assignment. The belief in yourself is.

Why? Because your dreams, desires, and things  you want to accomplish are worth it. Your mental health is worth it. Your love life is worth it. Your action is worth it. Your feelings and emotions are worth it. Your body is worth it. Your motivation and drive are worth it. Your sense of safety and security are worth it. Everything you are is worth it.

My parents are now my greatest champions. They mean more to me than I could have ever imagined and I know it’s reciprocated. 

The best for today is believing in yourself so you can make it. I have. I promise you can, too.

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